


Heartbeat

by TeaRoses



Category: Der Himmel über Berlin | Wings of Desire (1987)
Genre: Angels, M/M, hinted at relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/pseuds/TeaRoses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damiel longed for the world, but what does Cassiel long for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PR Zed (przed)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/przed/gifts).



> This is just a short piece with the relationships hinted at, but I hope the recipient enjoys it.
> 
> Totally disregards the sequel.
> 
> All song lyrics by Nick Cave.

The bar is dark and smoky and Cassiel isn't really there. He wants to go out into the streets, to somehow find Damiel and tell him more secrets. But the appearance of an angel would be some blinding vision and not what he really wants, which is to touch Damiel. In his memories he speaks to him, as the universe is created. He has lost his companion to the world, to the pull of time.

A dark-haired woman with bright lipstick and old memories stares into the mirror behind the bar and thinks of home. A red-haired man with an inner smile stares at the woman and thinks of warmth. A blond man who is guarding his soul sits alone and thinks of pain, and Cassiel dares to consider that someone is as lonely as he. Did this man lose someone too, just as Cassiel has? Did he once have a Damiel of his own?

How can I be lonely, Cassiel thinks, when I am surrounded by everything and the infinite possibilities engendered? How can I be lonely, when I see everyone?

But that is precisely it, he sees everything and touches nothing, hears everything and understands nothing, contemplates everything and loves nothing.

Damiel went down the ladder while Cassiel went up. Damiel decided to be rather than to behold. Cassiel wishes he could.

The blond man who sits alone is remembering tears and a single glass of wine.

The band is playing, and the singer stares intensely at Cassiel. He sees only empty space... or does he?

_The moon is in the gutter  
And the stars wash down the sink_

Even the moon and stars are closer to the earth than Cassiel is.

He remembers Damiel, the way they spoke and sang, the town they went to, where they were welcomed only by one man and his two daughters. It's all gone now.

The man sitting alone tells himself to go home. Cassiel tells himself the same.

The next night brings the same place, the same singer, the same people. And in the center Cassiel stands, his feet on the ground. He is letting the music batter his ears, letting the smoke fill his unused lungs.

He stares at the singer, who smiles a secret smile. Cassiel closes his eyes now and feels the words he sings.

_I have begun to ask for you_  
 _I who have no greed_  
 _I have begun to long for you_  
 _I who have no need_  
 _You say you've gone away from me_  
 _But I can feel you when you breathe_

Cassiel wants to touch now, to taste, to have, to be. When he opens his eyes he sees the blond man, once again at the table alone.

Alive and trembling and finally really there, Cassiel walks over to him. The man looks up at Cassiel as if he isn't some sort of miracle.

Cassiel tries to form words that are not praise and song and the murmurs of the universe. Finally he says "May I buy you a drink?"

The man says yes, and when their eyes meet Cassiel knows that a heartbeat is better than eternity.


End file.
